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I Can’t Find A Local Bate Buddy

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Submitted by Jim98

I’m a married noob who loves watching videos and reading stories about guys jacking it together. I’ve never jacked it with another guy before but I really get off on the idea of it and I would love to find a local buddy like me who just wants the kind of friendship where we can watch porn and play with each other’s cocks.

My curiosity started when I watched blow bang videos. I love seeing a girl sucking and jacking loads of dicks and watching the guys rubbing their tips together and slapping their meat around with each other. That got me into trying MMF threesome videos but most of them go further than guys jacking and I’m not so interested in that.

Then I found videos with guys just enjoying their bate and edging each other and it was like I struck gold. I’ve been so into it ever since.

I don’t live in a big city and I don’t want to go to any gay bars or anything like that. I don’t think I would fit in there and I think most guys would want more than a jack off buddy.

I’ve looked around online but the only guy I found in my area was into more than just jacking off.

Thanks for any advice you can give. I really want to try it but finding a buddy is so hard.


Thanks for your submission Jim98.

First of all I need to say you’re not the only one, in any regard. Plnty of guys discover their appreciation for male mutual masturbation in the same way you have, exploring their interests in porn and discovering what they’re into.

It can be hard for guys in small towns to find local bators. It’s a numbers game mostly. The more guys there are the more likely you can find someone. It’s easy in a big city like London, New York or Paris, but small towns are trickier.

I should also point out that we estimate at least 10% of men (18+) are interested in at least sharing porn and jerking off in the company of other men, some of our research over the years puts that number far higher (more like 35-40%). So even for smaller towns there will likely be enough to form a good group. It’s just a matter of finding those guys.

Without wanting to sound like I’m cynically marketing our own club products, you could try the BuddyBate pins and stickers. I don’t know where you are but maybe your town is already on the map? If not, it sometimes just takes one person to get the ball rolling. I think a lot of guys don’t want to be the first one, but there have been a lot of instances where the first guy to put a marker on the map for their location starts things off and then other guys decide to do it.

You can encourage that too and help spread the message. Some of our members look for other local guys on forums and tube sites where you can search by area and they tell them about BuddyBate and the stickers and pins etc, then more local guys for that area join in and before you know it you have a good crowd of local guys showing off the logo and looking for bator friends.

It’s a similar thing with the personals posts here. Sometimes it takes one guy to start the posts for their area and that starts the activity for that location, so I hope you’ll consider submitting your post if you haven’t already.

There are other communities out there which might be worth joining. Some guys even use Grindr but make it clear what they’re limited to. You could try that. Just be up-front about your limits so that no one who contacts you expects more than what you’re comfortable with.

Just be assured that there are other bators in your area, there always are. There might even be clubs operating without you knowing it. For every bator club we know about that seeks other new members there’s probably at last a couple more that are completely organic and unknown, just friends or work buddies who kick back with a beer and their dicks in their hands while they watch porn.

It can be difficult to get started, but if you have the motivation to explore this you can soon find a whole community waiting to welcome you and your dick to the party.

In my experience, once guys break into the scene they discover it’s existed for a long time, and they soon have a whole bunch of new friends to socialize with and share the bate.

Good luck in your adventures. Please let us know what you discover, I know our other readers would love to read about it.


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One thought on “I Can’t Find A Local Bate Buddy

  • November 15, 2022 at 3:04 am
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    I could have written Jim98’s post. Small town resident, I work out at home, have never been into the bar scene. Yet I would jump at the opportunity to share an experience like this with other guys. Naked and erect, slowly stroking cocks, sharing techniques— it would be a dream come true. I love my wife dearly, but sexually we’re in different worlds, and I long for the intimacy that having a buddy would bring.

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