It’s Hard Finding Bators In Rural Nebraska
Submitted by Aron
I’m a straight/curious 34 yo in small town Nebraska. I jacked off with a buddy a few times years ago and I miss it. It was fun, kicking back and watching porn, jerking it and unloading. I want to find another buddy to share it with. My town is real small, just a couple thousand, but I don’t know if there are any other bators here. Can you offer advice? I would be down for just watching porn and jerking it but finding a buddy who wants to try frotting and helping each other out would be awesome. Thanks.
Thanks for sending in your question. Settle in because this is gonna be a long one (that’s what he said).
It’s a common problem I’ve seen expressed a lot over the years and I get it. I also think this problem is often more about perception than reality.
I just picked out a small town on the map and did some calculations. Sumner, Nebraska has a population of only 236, but after applying our mathematical estimates (removing women, males under 18 and counting only 10% of the result) we discover there are likely at least 8 men open to shared masturbation with other guys in the town.
Bear in mind, too, that we are extremely conservative with our estimates and assume that only 10% of men would be interested in enjoying masturbation with their male friends when some of the data I’ve seen suggests that it might be as high as 40%. Granted, not all of these men are going to be interested in the same things, but a considerable number of guys do find the idea of enjoying masturbation with other men appealing.
If we assume a population of 2,000 for your town you should have a bator community of about 75 men interested in the same things.
The problem isn’t that there aren’t men in a specific community interested in sharing their masturbation with other men, it’s that none of them really know this is a thing. They might not know there’s a community online, or groups around the country, or that there’s ever likely to be any other guy in town who thinks the same way. Some of them probably just don’t think about it but would quickly get their dick out to jack it if a buddy did, because they don’t think it’s a big deal.
It could even be that there’s already a group in your town that you don’t know about. Even after more than a decade of BuddyBate existing we’re still discovering local bator groups all over the world, with someone contacting us to let us know about their local community or wanting to promote it to find more local members. We regularly hear from guys who say they’ve been jacking off with their group of guy friends for years and never knew it was a thing outside of their circle until they found BuddyBate or one of the other sites out there.
BuddyBate is one of only a very small number of sites where this topic is discussed, and 50% of these sites are membership sites, or dating sites. Men are far less inclined to dive into that if this topic is just a casual interest.
As for what you can do to find those other guys in your area…
Again, using the example of Sumner, Nebraska, we haven’t sent any BuddyBate lapel pins, buttons, stickers or T-shirts to anyone there, but we also know from checking the anonymized data that we’ve never had anyone from Sumner visit the site (unless their location is hidden, in which case we couldn’t know). They don’t know we exist. Maybe if they did, we would have a small community of bators there already.
It might seem like a shameless plug for our own community merch but perhaps you should consider getting a lapel pin, some buttons, stickers or a T-Shirt? That way your town will appear on the BuddyBate map (assuming it doesn’t appear there already) letting other visitors know that there are other guys in town. Perhaps then they’ll get buttons and stickers etc too, and in a month you might have found another bator at your local bar wearing a T-Shirt?
You could promote the community to other men in your town using tube sites like Xtube or PornHub. They both have community sections where you can search for other users in certain locations. When I search for users in Sumner on PornHub there are several pages of other members I could send a friend request to. Maybe then start a conversation with them, discuss porn, let them know about BuddyBate and the buttons, stickers and T-Shirts etc.
That is, ultimately, why we created the merch project originally. It’s intended to be a method for guys to subtly show off their interest in a way that only other men in the community would recognize. To get that started in a small town you need to get that first pin on the map, let other men who might stop by see that there’s someone else in town. It takes someone to get the ball rolling.
You could start your own club if you’re confident enough. It wouldn’t take a lot to achieve, just a social media account other men could follow for your area. We’d gladly list it among our pages and promote it to any visitors who come here looking for local contacts. You could have a good handful of guys in an online community on a site like Reddit or NewTumbl in a matter of months and go from there.
You could add a personal post to our listings, not only would this give you an opportunity to perhaps attract the attention of any other visitors to the site who check for listings in your area, it could tell search engines like Google that there is something of relevance on this website for guys in that area and start sending visitors from your town here when they search for something related.
Rest assured that with a population of 2,000 you most definitely aren’t the only guy in town who would like to kick back with a buddy and jack it. There’s probably enough men there to start your own club if you were so inclined.
I’m sure that with a little effort you could find at least one buddy to socialize with in this way, and you’d likely find more than one if someone gets the ball rolling for your area.
Good luck, and please let us know how it goes, I’m sure the whole community would like updates 🙂
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I grew up in a town of about 100 about an hour west of Omaha… Can totally relate. I left at 18. Never found anyone to bate with when I was there. Coming back to Nebraska later this year for a visit.