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Male masturbation and the bonding between friends

Submitted by Onanist85

Editors note: Although submitted as an experience, the in-depth description of male bonding experienced by Onanist85 led me to publish this as an OP-ED.

I was a late bloomer. I was 17 before I discovered masturbation thanks to the conversations of randy friends who would leave little hints and clues in their discussions while I nodded and pretended I knew anything about what they were discussing.

I grew up in a very Christian home where sex was never discussed. Family life consisted of the church and community activities, the lives of my sister and I revolved around education and sport, while helping around the village as part of a team of teens. We were pillars of the community in our village, even though many of us eventually rebelled in the form of sneaking out of our homes in the middle of the night to share stolen cider in the woods while listening to Eminem.

At the age of 20 I got engaged and my (now wife) and I moved into our own place. Life entirely changed. We had good jobs, we had new social lives, for the first time I was experiencing so many things about the big city that I’d only ever seen on TV. It was actually a bit of a culture shock.

One of the problems I found was that being so sporting suddenly left me with few options in London, at least in the beginning. I’d been on the football team, the rugby team, a member of the local rowing club, a hiking group… now I was in a city where it seemed the only things available to me were indoor gyms.

I found a small one and joined immediately, needing to stay in shape and work off all my nervous energy every day. It was a great little gym, for more reasons than you might expect.

I made several friends within a week, one in particular turned out to be very much like me, into various sports, and he quickly got me into a running club after I lamented the loss of all my outdoor pursuits.

Every weekend I would bike over to his apartment and we would get ready to head out to the allocated spot, run for a few miles with a large group, then head back to get changed again and either visit the pub with the girls or do something as a group of couples.

It was thanks to him that I discovered the bonding opportunities that came with masturbation.

Very soon after starting our regular running weekends we had an opportunity. We attended the run, returned to his place and discovered that his wife was already at the pub a few miles away with my fiance. There we were, two sweaty and very horny young men very naked while we showered and prepared to go to meet them. Only we didn’t go to meet them for another 45 minutes.

I discovered that day that my new friend loves to masturbate after any sporting activity, especially when his wife was not around.

He was quite shameless about it, openly suggesting that we use the opportunity to watch some porn and “rub one out”.

Being too polite to say no and being relatively horny myself I agreed and we spent the next 30 minutes standing naked in the living room watching porn of his choosing while we both stroked our hard cocks.

It was a revelation, I admit. I had never been much of a masturbator, perhaps once a month I might hastily stroke myself while my fiance was out of the house. I never was interested in porn very much either. My solo pleasuring skills left a lot to be desired.

I discovered a lot about myself in that first experience with my new friend. I found that that sight of another cock was exciting, I discovered that being on display in front of another man and having him openly admiring my dick was a turn on, I discovered that seeing another man ejaculating a considerable amount in front of me was enough to make my own cock explode in a fountain of ejaculate too.

It also led to a lot of soul searching and consideration for what this meant for me and my sexuality. In honesty even though I was raised in a rather strict Christian house I had never been very Christian myself. I mean, I believe in being kind to others and being a moral and decent person etc, but the whole nonsense of faith over science actually angers me.

Still, I was left wondering whether this experience now meant I needed to reassess my sexuality.

Ultimately, after several more experiences with my friend, I discovered that nothing was different with regard to how I should identify sexually, I’d simply discovered a new aspect of my sexuality which was already there. This new shared pleasure didn’t mean I was suddenly bisexual, or gay, it just meant that I’d experienced something new and I’d enjoyed it. No one else was harmed by this, no one else had any stake in this shared masturbation between my friend and I, I still loved my fiance just as I always had.

It became very clear that my friendship with him was quite profound. Seeing each other naked, aroused, masturbating and ejaculating had taken our friendship to a level I had never experienced before. My relationship with my fiance was obviously closer, but when it comes to the relationship between two men this was the closest I had ever felt to another man. With months of mutual enjoyment, sharing our onanistic pleasures with each other regularly, we became more like brothers than friends, only we were more than brothers too.

It’s quite difficult to explain, but I believe it’s a close as two men can be as friends without becoming lovers. We have no interest in being lovers in the commonly accepted definition; we’re mates, we’re buddies, we’re friends who have very few barriers between us – at least fewer than almost all other male friendships out there.

It soon became apparent to me that while I’d thought I was close friends with former teammates and peers I really only knew them superficially. I knew a lot about them, that’s true, but the experience of masturbating with a man and seeing him climax led to a greater depth of understanding between us. This closeness led to much more sharing than I had ever experienced with anyone other than my partner.

Aside from being so close as friends through being so trusting and open with each other, he’s also taught me a lot about masturbation too. For instance, my limited experience of self pleasure meant that my random wanks were ten minute affairs of hasty release in the shower, rather than the slippery lube-assisted sessions of an hour or more he introduced me to. The climaxes I had previously experienced while masturbating had been just okay, while now they were positively mind-blowing and knee-trembling.

Seeing a close friend ejaculating all over himself while he watches you climaxing as a result of his release is not matched by any other experience two friends can share.

Our wives now mockingly suggest we’re in a “bromance”, that we’re like a married couple ourselves. They may be right. This is what happens when you’re so close to a friend you have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. There’s a level of absolute trust and closeness between us that nothing is ever likely to break.

In eleven years of sharing our masturbation with each other we have become as close as two men can be. It seems we’re closer as friends than many of our gay friends are with their partners.

My friend and I now share masturbation at least once a week, it’s a highlight of our time together, a social experience we both look forward to. Long may it continue.


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I'm Brad, and I'm an avid masturbator. I'm the primary author here at BuddyBate, publishing the experiences of readers, adding fiction content submitted by visitors and sharing some of the best masturbation porn available.

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3 thoughts on “Male masturbation and the bonding between friends

  • July 20, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Identify with all of this so much. I have a great friendship with a couple of my stroke buds. Closer friends than anyone.

  • July 30, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    This is an excellent article and I’m so glad I found it. This perfectly explains what it’s like for me and my best mate. We’ve wanked together on and off for years and I’m closer to him than anyone else, even my girlfriend. This is the true definition of “bros before hoes” lol
    I think I know everything about him and there’s nothing I wouldn’t tell him either. When people say that a friend is someone you can call at three in the morning, a REAL friend is someone who’s still at your place at three in the morning stroking his cock and watching you cumming 🙂

  • October 31, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    There is an old saying rhat;
    There are things that you will tell your doctor that you won’t tell your wife.
    And there are things you will tell your bartender that you won’t tell your doctor.
    But there is nothing that you wouldn’t tell your closest mate!
    My upbringing was also a very strict religious one, and I lost out on a lot of experiences that I felt would have made me a better man and certainly a better human being.
    Thanks for sharing your experience with us, and hope others get as much understanding from it as I have.
    Bate on bro.


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