The JO world is bigger and better than it ever was
Submitted by ReProBate
I started getting into the jack off scene when I came out as bi back in the early ’90s. Back then it was real hard to find dudes who just wanted to share a good bate.
The Internet changed it a lot, and although it took time the bate community is now the most diverse I’ve ever seen it. It’s awesome.
I was in college and I think I was probably one of the first to start a jack off club, just for dudes who like to share porn and stroke it. My roommate was into it and soon he found another guy who liked to jack off too. Eventually we could get five guys together for a circle jerk. It was mostly just watching porn and seeing each other cum but now and then a buddy would lend a hand or accept some frotting.
After college it was harder to find other dudes. I started going out on the gay scene looking for the same but almost all the guys I found wanted more than just a stroke. Eventually I started to get desperate and started looking around the known cruisy places, showing cock at urinals and getting some hand job action with random guys. Even then dudes would be grabbing ass and wanting to suck. I was okay with that but it wasn’t really what I was looking for. After a few months of doing that I started giving guys my number and suggesting a jack off club and most of them were down for it. I was working security for a while so I had access to an empty warehouse and I could sometimes get ten or more guys turning up for a circle jerk.
Back then it was all pretty much the same. The guys were all 30+ and most of them gay, some bi (much less common then), maybe one or two were married but it was very obviously a “gay thing”.
The Internet changed it a lot, and although it took time the bate community is now the most diverse I’ve ever seen it. It’s awesome. Back then you had to struggle to get a few guys together and they would be from the gay clubs or cruisy mensrooms, but the Internet seems to have brought all kinds of guys out for bate fun. For a few years when the Internet was just starting the bate groups I went to were pretty much the same as the ones I’d created before but the crowd slowly became more and more interesting, bringing in all areas of society.
These days I travel a lot for work and I have guys to meet up with all over. When I know I’m gonna be spending a few days in London, LA, New York, Austin or Denver I can plan ahead and get in touch with a guy or two and there’s usually a good meet to go to, if not then I know I can at least find one or two guys to JO with. If I’ve got the time and contacts I can organize a party at the hotel and invite a few guys to my room for a circle. It’s a great way to meet new bators but I have to be careful. I learned my lesson two years ago when I was staying in Chicago for a week and planned a party in my hotel room for one night and told almost everyone they could bring a friend. I had too many guys show up and the hotel staff got real suspicious about it and started knocking on my door. It was embarrassing and risky (they could have called my employer to complain) but I learned not to make it an open invitation for everyone and his buddy.
To give you an idea of how much it’s changed back in the late ’90s and early ’00s almost all the guys I jacked off with were gay, a few bi, and all between 35 and 50. Today I can go to a meet-up in a city I’m visiting and I’ll be jacking off with a 19-year old college jock, a 25-year-old twitch gamer, a 30-year-old businessman, a tech bro in his 40’s, a married guy in his 50’s, a cop, a warehouse worker, a twink, a farmer and a bodybuilder. White, black, Latino, Asian… No joke, that’s the kind of diversity we have in the scene now and compared to what it used to be like it’s a great change.
Most of these guys are “unlabelled”. Sexuality isn’t presumed like it used to be and you’re not just meeting up with the same guys you’d see at the nearest gay club. These are guys you probably wouldn’t meet any other way, they just all like a good jack off session with other guys. When I was explaining it to a younger bator last summer I told him that it used to be like walking into a gay bar and inviting the first ten guys you saw to come and jerk off, now it’s like walking down a NY city block, walking into twenty different buildings and inviting the first guy you see.
The guys I have talked to about it are interesting because it’s so different to how it used to be. I’ve talked to a few younger guys about how they got into it and they usually say the Internet. They tell me that sexuality isn’t like it used to be and a lot of guys consider themselves curious or bi, but mostly it’s just about jacking off and enjoying another good dick in their hands. The rules have changed and it seems a lot of younger men are more open to just enjoying themselves and not worrying about what label they should be under.
Sometimes I like to think I started a lot of this with my little online groups, chats, the college club and the parties I’ve organized or instigated all over but I think I just played a little part in a much bigger thing. I think the Internet has given guys more to think about and enjoy and it’s made them more open-minded about what turns them on and gets their juices flowing. Guys today don’t need any permission from an amorphous group of society to meet up with other men for some cock enjoyment they just do it and fuck the labels and expectations.
When I think back to the Pride marches and the constant push for equality back in the ’90s and before it’s amazing how far we’ve all come. There are still a lot of challenges and we need to keep fighting for basic rights for all but I think it’s a good sign that so many younger guys aren’t so hung-up on what they should or shouldn’t be doing to conform to an expected sexual identity.
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