The set up – bating with an existing friend

Submitted by Jack

I’ve been a long time lurker here and love reading the experiences. It’s something you can’t get anywhere else and makes this site unique.

I have read every story on here about how guys first started wanking with friends and tried to set up the same situations but it has never worked for me. I have been naked watching porn with a friend, he was clothed, and it didn’t progress to a wank! I have also tried being caught wanking by a different friend and that did not work either although it was a rush! I’m struggling to figure out how to do it. I am naked all the time and all my friends have seen me naked and it’s a common joke for all of us but I can’t figure out how to get us wanking. I’m thinking it’ll be much easier just with one friend but we always hang out as a big group.

I have broken down and done it twice with random guys from Grindr but it isn’t for me at all. I want to do it with a friend so it’s more relaxed and more of a friendly thing. There have been two BuddyBate buttons sent to my town despite it being not very big so I am on the lookout.

I appreciate this is probably the most common question ever but I’d love some advice.

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Hi Jack,

Thank you for your message, and I’m glad you’re enjoying the site and the experiences of other guys.

Any guy who has tried this method (bating with existing friends rather than finding new ones) has probably experienced this too. I’ve jerked off with several friends before, but there have been guys who are just not into it, are too nervous about it, or have hang ups that they just can’t get over even if they want to.

I personally believe about 4 in 10 guys are interested in it, depending on the circumstances, timing, horniness etc, but that’s still a low enough number to make it plausible that none of your male friends would be inclined to try it.

It’s good that you’ve branched out and looked for encounters elsewhere, but I think you’re treating that as disposable (easy to do with an app like Grindr, that seems to be the main premise of it!) when maybe you should be focusing more on making those guys you meet into friends?

Looking back on things now, not one of the friends I ever tried to wank with when I was just getting started is a friend now, while all the guys I regularly jerk with started out as chance meetings, buddies through other bators, hook ups with wanking in mind etc. They’re some of my closest friends now, I could probably text most of them this afternoon and go out for a beer with them tonight without it needing to be about wanking (although it would probably end that way lol).

I would suggest continuing the way you have been, meet new guys, look out for the “type” of guy who would be interested in it. Easygoing men with relaxed attitudes to sex, open about their bodies, not shy about you seeing them naked etc, are the kind of guy you’re looking for… guys like you I guess?!

Think about where you might meet those guys, what kinds of things they would be interested in, what sports they would be into, what bars or clubs they would frequent.

Also, have you thought about taking the advice of JOBudRJ in the post yesterday about leaving cards in certain places? We’ll be publishing something soon offering advice and ways for guys in smaller towns to find other guys, so keep your eyes open for that.

Thanks again for your post, I’m sure you’ll find someone local to you to share this with eventually, it just might take a little more time and effort than it would for someone in a larger city.

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