I wish I could find a cool wank buddy to beat off with

Submitted by Andrew in London

I’m 42 and I grew up on a farm in the Midlands. I started wanking with a neighbour when I was in my 20’s and it was a lot of fun.

It started when I was 23 and he was 25. We were working on fixing a fence between our parent’s properties (we worked together a lot over the years) and one day we were going out to fix the fence down by the trees where a stream runs through and we found a bag of porn mags.

He thought they had been left there by his older brother years before.

One thing led to another and we spent and hour sitting on a fallen tree trunk wanking our cocks while we looked through the magazines.

From that day on we spent almost as much time wanking as we did working. We would find almost any excuse to go out down to the stream and share a wank. Eventually, when the winter months came, we moved our wanking sessions into his barn, or his bedroom.

We became very good friends, brothers really. We used to spend our time working on our farms, wanking and working out using his gym equipment.

Eventually I met a girl at the local pub and my attention shifted. He was still a good wank buddy for a while and we stroked together perhaps once a month. Then he got a serious girlfriend too and we started hanging out less and less.

A couple of years later my girlfriend and I moved to London to start our new careers and things have been great since, but I really miss those experiences with my friend.

My wife knows about my past experiences with my wank buddy and I’ve told her that I do miss having that relationship, and while she hasn’t encouraged me to seek out the same again she has said that she wouldn’t have a problem with me maintaining that kind of bond with another man.
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I’ve thought about seeking out the same in London but it seems as though everyone is looking for more than I would like. I have a couple of friends I work with that I would be interested in wanking with, but it all seems so forced when I think about how I might make that happen.

It was just a natural process before, just a couple of horny young men needing to relieve the pressure and finding a common interest and confidence in sharing it. But now, it seems a lot more complicated.

I suppose my main reason for writing this isn’t to seek validation or help, it’s mainly to let other readers know that if they have that kind of friendship don’t take it for granted and don’t let it fade out. People might tell you that it’s only natural that you would move on from male relationships like that, but from my own experience and the state of other men around me I don’t believe it’s healthy at all.

Men should maintain these friendships, because finding them again in the future is extremely hard to do. If you have a wank buddy you enjoy the company of right now, make sure you keep that friend in your life.

Thanks for the blog. I love the mix of serious consideration of make sexuality combined with the sight of men enjoying their own dicks, and each others. Keep it up.

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Hi Andrew,

Thank you for sending in your experience. I think it echoes what a lot of men experience in life. I have often thought that perhaps the “midlife crisis” we hear so much about is really just a response to the moment men realize that they’ve lost those male relationships due to the pressures of a “traditional” committed partnership. It seems to make sense to me, given that one of the hallmarks of that time in a man’s life seems to be about reclaiming teenage years.

I’ve talked about it before on the blog and I do believe that it’s important for both men and women to maintain these relationships outside of their own. It’s great to have a partner to share your life with, but we all need those close friends throughout our lives and it’s important not to forget about them or push them aside when momentary things take over.

I understand how difficult it can be to get out there and find new people to socialize with, especially outside of your existing relationship. I also know what you mean about so many guys who would be easily interested would also likely be expecting more than just a wank buddy.

They do exist, it’s just harder to find men who think the same way.

All I can really suggest is that you expand your circle of male friends and begin to carve out time to spend one-on-one. I think you would soon find that you have a new handful of close friends, and one or two of those would likely be open to the notion of shared masturbation if the opportunity and timing was right.

Good luck with your efforts. I hope you’ll share your experiences again with us in the future.