Women are bad at hand jobs, don’t @ me

Submitted by Shayne

We all know that supposedly guys give better head than women. I put it to you that guys give better hand jobs too.

I’ve had many great hand jobs, and many terrible ones. My hand job history started with a girlfriend in my truck after a date and back then I thought it was awesome. She made me shoot so hard I thought I might black out. For four years she was the standard to meet, but girlfriends after her were less skilled in the art form.

Then one night I was hanging out with a friend of my older brother and discovered the pleasure of another man’s hand. Everything changed. He’d heard from my brother that I had a big dick and requested a viewing. I never did discover why my brother and his buddy had been talking about my dick but I have a suspicion they were probably jacking off and my name came into it as comparison. My brother is also quite well-endowed but I beat him by half an inch. Being a little stoned and buzzed I obliged. Incidentally, this was also the moment I discovered that I’m an exhibitionist.

He admired my instantly erect cock and offered to blow me. I turned down that offer but suggested he could lend me a hand while we watched porn.

While my cock wasn’t blown my mind was. The thirty minutes that followed were the most pleasurable I’d experienced. His hand was incredible. Unlike all the girls who’d grabbed my cock and either pulled it hard and fast for a few minutes before complaining their arm was tired, or tried to deliver something special by dryly rubbing my tip and making me take over with spit, he used plenty of spit to get started and my cock was dribbling pre while he slowly toyed with it. He played with my balls when he could tell I was close, giving me time to relax. He used the right pressure on my cock head. He rubbed the underside of my glans. He did everything right until thick ropes of spooge were squirting from my cock and hitting my chin. A few moments later I watched while he sat back on the couch with his shorts around his ankles and did much the same thing, dumping cum up his chest.

I still have the t-shirt from that night and every time I look at it I can see the big wet streaks running down. My wife tried to throw it out two years ago and I managed to sneak into the bag and retrieve it. She thinks it reminds me of an ex-girlfriend. The t-shirt has a special power, when I wear it my cock springs up and I start thinking about places I might find a guy to jack me off.

If I needed to write a porn movie about a possessed item of clothing I’d have a place to start.

I would guess a year followed that encounter and no girlfriend could meet the new standard. I was dating a lot and met probably fifteen girls. They were mostly bar hookups or online dating, in the early days before the likes of Tinder. Although one girl could get me there good no hand job experience could meet the level of my brother’s friend. I tried to mix it up with a change of location. One girl jacked me off behind a dumpster outside the stadium. Another girl jacked me in a stairwell at a hotel. One girl tried to make me cum rubbing my cock through my jeans while we were in the back of her dad’s truck heading into town. I got off a few times but most gave up before the big finish and I had to take over. None of them made me cum like that dude had.

Then my second experience with another dude happened.

I was cleaning up at work after an event (my job then was sports/events/promotions) and I was walking around the high school gym we’d hired checking everyone had left and walked into the bathroom to take a leak. There was a guy standing at the urinals. There were only two and no divider between them. I hate dividers, always have. We all like to check out the competition and I think it’s unhealthy to put obstacles in the way of that. It’s worse now that young men mostly only have porn movies to compare themselves to. I strongly believe it’s creating more stigma and body dysmorphic disorder.

We all know the little routine most guys do. You look. You know the other guy is looking. You might get semi hard. You see his cock thicken. You never look up and you never openly stare. You put your cock away and leave. Only this time that’s not what happened. I could see he was getting very hard very quickly and my cock was hardening in agreement. We’d stopped pissing and we were just standing there with our dicks in our hands admiring. I gave my cock a couple of strokes and he followed.

We were soon jacking off and watching each other. He had a lovely looking penis. He was a rugged man, a little older than me. His cock was what I would call gnarly. He was thick and heavy, with a fat head and big balls that spilled out over his jeans when he reached in to lift them out. His shaft was tanned and veined and his tip was wet with pre. He had about 6 inches to play with.

Moments later I would be playing with it. My first time touching another man.

He initiated the handy encounter. We’d turned to show each other our cocks openly and he reached out and offered his hand. I presented my cock and he grasped it, gently sliding his fist along my shaft and playing with my tip. He was holding his cock out like a wand and I knew he was expecting me to return the favor. I’m a polite guy so I reached out and wrapped my hand around his warm penis.

I’ve tried to explain what this was like several times and I never quite get it right. It was familiar and awkward at the same time, just for a few moments until we turned to be more side-by-side. His cock felt like mine but smaller. It was hot, clammy, wet, but so fucking good I thought I might start ejaculating any moment.

Like my previous experience his hand on my cock was awesome. He knew how to handle my cock and I hope that I was handling his with the same level of skill.

I have no concept of how long we were jacking each other but I would guess we were going at it for a good five minutes before I could feel his cock getting extra stiff and he muttered something and began ejaculating all over the floor and the urinal in front of him. While my cum usually leaps out in long streams of thick white liquid his was like a sprinkler head activating. The sight of it took me there and I started with an explosive stream of semen hitting the wall and coating the edge of the urinal in front of me. His cock was still sprinkling while I was firing jets.

I walked out of that men’s room with my life changed.

The following two years was like an adventure. I learned of the best places to display my cock and get a response. I found the gym to be unsuccessful for anything other than curious boners and the occasional jack off display, but men’s rooms were a good place for mutual hand jobs when the timing and location were just right. I discovered a few men’s rooms with no dividers. Shamefully I would even drive out of town to a specific place were I knew my chances were better.

I kind of naturally learned of the dance guys do. Busy places were pointless to even try. If it was just me and another man I would carefully display my erection and usually get a good response. Most of the time they’d get hard and hang around for a few moments to watch and stroke before leaving, probably confused about their own curiosity. Other times the guy would watch me cum and do the same. About once a month a guy would turn to face me and this was a good sign that they were down for giving each other a hand.

In the course of a year I’d probably seen fifty cocks cumming, and helped thirty of them to reach it while getting my own in the process.

I was still getting laid at the time. My girlfriend of several months was still terrible at hand jobs.

I met my wife a couple years later and we’ve been married for seven years. I still look for hand jobs with dudes because my wife is also terrible at it. We’ve never talked about my secret side but I don’t think she’d care. I know her pretty well and I think she’d just see it as “guys doing guy stuff”. We watched an MMF porn movie once where one of the guys grabbed his buddy’s dick and she laughed and asked me if I would do that. I told her I would and she was on my cock in a minute asking me to tell her about all the cocks I’ve seen. I tried to play it cool and acted like it was weird for guys to check out other guys but that charade didn’t last long and I was soon describing a could of buddies. I still didn’t tell her about all the hand jobs.

I’ve given her some tips on jacking me and I hope I’m better than I was at pleasuring her too but nothing beats another man’s experienced hand on my cock and the feel of another dick in my fist. The pleasure of ejaculating with another guy cannot be beat.

So, men give better hand jobs than women. Sorry ladies, it’s just true.

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