If you’re just bating, I don’t feel like it’s breaking vows. Oral or anal is cheating, in my opinion.

This is something I have been wrestling with ever since I got married 22 years ago. I was quite open about my past sexcapades with her in the beginning but her insecurities made me feel like I did something wrong. Therefore I keep it secret if and when I go bating again. Why I feel bad afterwards is a response to myself that I can't be true and free about me without judgement from others (and me) 😔. Just be kind to yourself whenever you can and with whomever you can (both wife and buddy included) ❤️