Am I Addicted To Masturbation?
Submitted by 7ToRub
I’m worried I might be addicted to masturbation.
I’m 24, straight/curious, been a reader for a couple years.
I masturbate twice a day. Sometimes this increases to three times a day. My relationship with my girlfriend is healthy and normal. She knows I like to masturbate and I’ve talked to her about my concerns that I do it too much. She says I’m worrying about nothing and some men just have a bigger appetite than others.
I’ve never masturbated with another guy but I think about it a lot and I would really love to experience it. My girlfriend also knows this and says that as long as I’m honest with her about it there’s no problem. I’m not sure I would do it but I like thinking about it.
I watch porn sometimes, but often I jack off to my own fantasies in bed. I stroke it in the showers at the gym. I sometimes jack off in my car.
Is it normal to masturbate this much?
Thanks for your advice.
Thank you for your submission.
I’ll start this by stating I am not a qualified therapist and these are my own opinions on the matter.
First, I agree with your girlfriend. Different men have different sexual appetites. Sexuality is extremely diverse and cannot really be crammed into a small selection of labeled boxes. Attempting to do so only limits us, generates stigma, and doesn’t serve anyone but those who crave control over the lives of free humans.
Activities between consenting adults that doesn’t harm anyone should be no one else’s business.
And this brings us to the harm element.
I don’t know the precise definition, but I do personally believe that something becomes an addiction when it is negatively harming your health and other aspects of life.
For instance, I don’t think masturbating three times a day is harmful, unless it is having an adverse impact on your health, your mental well-being or your relationships. We could expand this to professional goals, too. If your masturbation were leading to you taking risks which could threaten other parts of your life then it would be something to consider.
If you’re being late for meetings, being caught masturbating in the office, or turning down opportunities because you’d rather be at home jacking off, then it’s probably time to consider ways to make a change.
In addition to this, I would say that masturbation should be a healthy and fun activity. I’m wondering how much you could really be getting out of it if you’re indulging several times a day.
It’s just something to consider, but I personally think enjoying one instance a day, and making the most of that, would lead a more fulfilling experience.
You don’t mention in your post that you have a compulsion to masturbate. It doesn’t seem as though you do. It seems to be a conscious choice you’re making but one which you don’t feel entirely in control of, that perhaps it’s just a routine or a habit you have slipped into.1
I really think this is entirely down to what you want to do going forward. You have the ability to change your routines if you want to, so if you’re concerned that you have an issue try changing this pattern and see how you feel.
Of course, there is always the option of seeking professional advice and I would recommend doing so if this feeling persists.
Ultimately, whether you’re addicted to masturbation or not, you clearly have concerns about it and this concern was enough for you to raise it with your partner and ask here.
I would suggest spending a couple of weeks reducing your masturbation activities and see what happens. If nothing else, this will likely make you feel more in control and less concerned.
I think you’ll find that reducing this down to maybe once a day will increase your enjoyment, you can then consider your appetites more with the understanding that you are in control of this.
Thanks again for raising this topic. It’s been a little while since we last discussed this issue.
I’m sure our readers here will offer their own thoughts on this, we have a great community with diverse opinions but all well-meaning.
All the best.
Brad
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