Am I The Only Bator In Town?

Submitted by Chris

I’m 48, straight (mostly) and live in a small town and it looks like there aren’t any other bators here. I check the buddybate map all the time hoping there will be a marker in it one day.

I jacked it with a friend a long time ago but nothing since. Masturbation is something I love to do and I would really like to have a local friend to relax with watching porn and rubbing our own or each others. I really want to try frotting with another man.

Can you offer any advice for a guy like me? There must be a lot of us out there who look around and just can’t find anyone local because there just isn’t enough guys in town to share it with.

Thanks

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Hey Chris,

There will be a lot of guys like you out there. After more than ten years of running BuddyBate I can say this is a common issue. The thing is, when I check our website stats we see guys from literally EVERYWHERE. You didn’t mention where you are but just as a general example…

Plummer, Idaho, has a population of just over 1,000. It’s a very small town, but over the last year we’ve had 112 unique readers visit the website from there. None of them have joined the BuddyBate club with buttons/stickers/lapel pins etc, so there is no marker on the map for that town. That might only be a few guys a month, but even if just one of them got more involved it could lead to a club forming very quickly.

And it’s not just small towns. Vaughan, Ontario has a population of 323,000, and we’ve had hundreds of visits from there over the last 12 months but none of them have joined the club with buttons/stickers/lapel pins either, so there is no marker for Vaughan on the map.

I think a lot of guys check the map, see no marker and think they’re the only one in town. They’re not. It’s not guaranteed, but maybe it would just take one guy to get the ball rolling in that area and other readers will see the marker and want to get involved too?

This might sound like me trying to push the merch, but it does work. Have a think about it and click here if you want to put your town on the map.

If you don’t want to do that you could try using hookup apps like Grindr. We know a few readers do use it, but there are pitfalls. Most of the guys who use it expect more than just masturbation. Many who claim to only be seeking mutual masturbation suddenly want more when it comes time to meet up, especially if you identify as heterosexual/curious. It can often lead to awkward exchanges with guys who expect more than a bate even if you’ve made that clear from the start.

We do have personals, too. We only add a town/city to the regional/national lists when we have a submission from there. So if your town is not found on the list you should submit one and we’ll add everything needed for more guys to start adding theirs for that location, and replying to your add too.

I’m certain you’re far from the only man in town who wants a buddy like this, but finding them is going to be impossible if everyone is waiting for someone else to get things started. I hope you’ll consider what you can do to kick things off and get the ball rolling 🙂

Thanks for your submission, I have a feeling you’ll find a buddy eventually.

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